~Still Rmb Forever Only Always~

today was a fruitful day for mii.. i gained alot of 'advise'.. in sch, durin sociology, my lecturer told mii.. 'fallin out of love' does not mean tat u dun hv feels for tat person.. is juz tat tat person cant fulfil yr criteria.. y this is so.. cos bef we decide whether who we wanna be, not possible tat u go ard and loves so many ppl while u r makin new frenz therefore, everyone will hv their own criteria on wat kinds of condition of guys/gals tat thy wanna hv bef been tgt.. cos of u hv such 'expectation' tat y when u saw this person among other fulfill e almost tick on yr checklist.. then u will decide to go get along wif tat person.. haha.. slowly, everyone will grow up de, if not ppl will turn bad.. so when break up, either grow up le, 'criteria' change le or tat person turn heart, turn bad le therefore lead to break up.. i was thinkin this ans will be better than u say u gt no more feelin.. imagine u and yr partner been tgt for long, e.g. 3 years, when two of us initiated to break up then e reason is tat we gt no more feel loh.. IMAGINE!! u spend 3 years of youth, care and concern on tat person.. then when tat person said i no feels.. wow.. is like u spend time on a trash.. if break up, said u din fulfill my criteria, at least, i know where i gone wrong and i will do somethin to it.. if is not changed, then no choice tat which will lead to break up.. sigh..

then durin work, i learnt from adrian regard BGR.. wow.. was impressed by him.. i tot i will only impress by ambush, Siva cos of his knowledge.. nw, was adrian by his own experiences.. he said a person will grow up after each experience of life.. this is absolute true (: cos i was one of it.. hee hee

2nd sem started le.. it was started on 19th Oct.. mornin, i was excited to go sch cos it was a brand new sem and new module.. then i learn new stuffs and it was complicated.. then okay la, time passed fast then i went to work.. then bad news came when i was doin closin.. i lost someone who had been nice, caring and showin concern to mii.. he din able to fight against e illness.. he lost e battle.. some more, e illness tat he gt was e one tat i had been attached to durin my attachment period.. same hos, same ward, same level, same block of hos.. it was a shockin news to mii.. i only knew tat he was ill but i dunno he was down wif tat.. once i knew these, i went to their hse but noone was at home.. i was panicked.. i wanna called them but dunno wat i wanna ask.. then at night, i gt e confirmed ans from them le.. i cried.. suddenly, those memories tat i had wif him flashed back.. those days tat i was at their home, he treated mii very well.. send mii home, send mii for dinner.. we even had holiday tgt bef.. e last holiday wif them, i was not well, even tot, he was not well too, yet he asked mii to tc.. he told mii even not hungry when stomach makes a little noise, i still hv to grab somethin light.. tat y today, when in sch, i dun feel like eatin, i still ate somethin.. i still rmb tat he wanna teach mii how to drive cos like tat when i wanna go sch and apply license, i dun hv to pay so much.. but nw, he haven even teach mii yet he was gone.. i din even see him for e last time.. e last i met him was i went Genting wif them..

i was very 遗憾.. i din gt to see him at e very last moment.. i was 遗憾 tat y i din get to know yet someone else knew it.. everythin was too late..

everythin was too sudden.. everythin was like fated.. y din my attachment come later.. if come later, at least, i can take care of him durin his last life journey.. from another point of view, if come later, will i hv e courage and do i hv e preparedness to do last office for him? will i cry even louder when i performin last office?

ytd, went to e funeral wif meinu thy all.. my clique used to go their hse and played durin e weekend.. he used to see us and he even joked wif us.. this news oso too sudden for my clique too.. i looked at him, i almost burst out and hugged aunty and cried tgt.. i saw aunty, i heartbroken.. thy really treated mi very well.. to mii, thy are my 2nd parent.. altho, i and them still hv some distance yet i still respect them and show my concern to them..

then last night, i dreamt of him and aunty.. he and aunty still rmb i like to eat potato wedges.. i woke up and cried again.. on my way to work, i dropped tears again in e train.. durin work, it happened again.. this news affected mii alot.. it makes mi think tat do i really able to be nurse? am i too emotional? i dunno..

i will alway rmb tat how gd u had been treatin mii since e day i knew yr family..
i will alway rmb how u and aunty treated mii.. from e moment, u and aunty treated mii very well, i alr took u two as my extended family member.. e one who treated mi well, e one tat i will hold respect to..

献给我最尊敬的长辈， 我会永远记得你。

these days were busy for mii cos sch reopen soon so wanna do stuffs tat i alr plan.. for instance, gettin a book shelf to tidy my study area.. then follow by buyin sch bag, lecture notes from sch.. notes still wanna buy de loh.. other sch dun need.. dots........ then shoppin for new sem.. juz bought 4 tees, 2 pants, 1 jean, 1 shoe.. wow.. broke le.. startin to raise a family le.. so need to be savin at this moment.. but i juz cant stop shoppin.. hee hee.. gettin 2 polo tees @ bugis nxt week cos thy dun hv my size right nw.. sigh.. goin back to work tmr till sun.. my target was nt to work a wk bef my sch start yet failed again.. haha.. used to it le..

recently, juz helped out for ah goh goh de bro de project.. e project was abt Deafintion.. somethin related to deaf ppl.. tat y recently learn some sign language.. on thurs mormin went to DG station and waited for pc wif fleo.. then gt a lady asked some way out, somemore needed mi to bring her out. in the end, it wasnt e dest tat she wanted.. as for mi, climbed twice e esca which was not workin.. lol.. tired.. durin e event, i made new frenzs.. somemore, thy were older than mii.. haha.. thy r interestin.. altho, thy are not perfect, however thy god gave them somethin tat some normal ppl might not hv.. tat was happiness, freedom, hyper energy.. cos thy are ablt to run durin e amazing race which mii and fleo din hv e stamina to run ard e SMU..

thy god fair.. i am tryin to believe tat too

last week still a busy week for mii.. work, celebration and be a volunteer for ah goh goh's bro de project.. firstly, was to celebrate xiao meinu de bdae cum mooncake festival.. went to breeks @ taka.. had salmon.. tat was nice but abit exp.. but still considered okay cos e salmon was a big portion.. however e baked potato, i think marche better cos gt bacon and w/o mayo.. heehee.. i so picky (:

for volunteer, i learned sign language.. quite interestin.. this was juz part 1 nia.. part 2 and it will be e final day for this whole project..

as for work, still like tat.. wow.. super angry.. i juz received call from ai.. she told mi tat gt ppl took pic tat we chattin at e sausage bar.. then passed to e management.. wow.. tat ppl really no sense.. we din chatted long.. plus we chatted tat time was tat no ppl.. how come work hv fun at e same time.. same time refer to right time.. no customer cant we talk.. RUBBISH!! camera phone really brings us adv and disadv.. adv was can take pics as and when we wanna.. super more disadv, ppl will misuse it.. take as when thy wanna.. ANGRY!! their management really hor.. cant this, cant tat.. then fine.. thy can do lah.. zzzzz WTH!! once i finish doin e stuffs tat i suppose to do, i stay home and relax.. if not, go hook gold turtle turtle.. dunno from when, i alr nt happy wif their way of work.. from thy anyhow catch mii till nw.. i wanna SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM at THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

times r gettin tired for mi le.. nw, god made my life so miserable.. nw, it even make my other r/s worse, take it as frenz r/s, love r/s, nth like been smooth for mii.. family alr not tat gd for mii le yet still dun wanna make my life better by doin someone.. it still tryin to ruin my other parts of my life.. god, pls make my life better.. if not, pls juz take my life away from nw..